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Occupy Makes Bad Recession Worse; Markets Tank Again, But We're #1 in Jumping Jacks: Reason Evening


If you want to look really cool, have somebody take a still photo of you while you're doing jumping jacks.

Real leadership in tough times. First Lady of America Michelle Obama confirms that she succeeded in her October effort to break the world record for jumping jacks. Harvard Law School J.D. Obama led the U.S.A. to the Number One spot in global jack-jumpery by getting 300,265 to do jumping jacks within a 24-hour period.

Occunomics produces more pro-recessionary intervention. Occupy Wall Street movement briefly shuts down Long Beach and Oakland ports in a Smoot-Hawleyan attempt to redistribute corporate profits. Wily One Percenters use weather machine to make it rain on the Long Beach protest, scattering less-than-rugged Occupiers.

Wall Street occupied…by morons. Dow declines slightly on news that there is no reason on earth the Dow should be above 7,000 at all Europe debt crisis can't be solved.

The other side of Tebowmania. Lovie Smith, first black coach to lose a Super Bowl, calls Chicago Bears' 13-10 defeat by Denver Broncos "one of the most difficult he's ever had to digest."

Beginning of the end of a medium that has been dying for more than half a century. Movie audiences in the first two weekends of the holiday season are smaller than they were in the first two weekends after the 9/11 attacks.

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