John Bolton Announces That He <em>Isn't</em> Running for President

John Bolton, the former U.N. ambassador with dreams of a more muscular and mustachioed America, announced today that he will not run for the Republican presidential nomination in 2016. Fortunately, voters craving a nuanced, measured debate about U.S. foreign policy will still be able to enjoy the subtle arguments of Mike Huckabee:

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