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Feds Don't Want Kids to Even See How Awesome Junk Food Is

Avert your eyes, citizen!

Credit: FoodMayhem.com / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND


In another example of your federal rulers thinking our poor habits are due to not knowing any better and being manipulated by the agricultural industrial complex and not, say, our own decisions, the feds are forcing public schools not just to drop what it deems to be unhealthy food, but to drop any advertising that appears at schools for unhealthy food. Even pictures of food have to have the federal government's stamp of approval. From the Associated Press:

Promotion of sugary drinks and junk foods around campuses during the school day would be phased out under the Agriculture Department rules, which are intended to ensure that marketing is brought in line with health standards that already apply to food served by public schools. That means a scoreboard at a high school football or basketball game eventually wouldn't be allowed to advertise Coca-Cola, for example, though it could advertise Diet Coke or Dasani water, also owned by Coca-Cola Co. Same with the front of a vending machine. Cups, posters and menu boards that promote foods that don't meet federal standards would also be phased out. Ninety-three percent of such marketing in schools is related to beverages. And many soda companies already have started to transition their sales and advertising in schools from sugary sodas and sports drinks to other products they produce. Companies are spending $149 million a year on marketing to kids in schools, according to the Agriculture Department.

There are questions as to whether diet sodas are actually healthier than sodas with sugar in them, but they have the government stamp of approval, so it's fine. It's the stamp that makes it safe.

I dare some kid out there to make a book cover out of candy bar wrappers. You know you want to.

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