Office of the Mayor
In a press release issued yesterday, New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg argued that the decision blocking his big beverage ban must be overturned because "we have a responsibility as human beings to do something, to save each other, to save the lives of ourselves, our families, our friends, and all of the rest of the people that live on God's planet." Today the busybody billionaire clarified that the ruling "was not a setback for me." Rather, "this is a setback for the people who are dying," and "in case you hadn't noticed, I watch my diet. This is not for me."
I believe him. After all, Bloomberg has declared that meddling in other people's lives to stop them from making unenlightened decisions is "government's highest duty." Just nine more months.
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